Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
