After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
