you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
