To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
