I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
im holly from the hills drunk
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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