Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
