Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
