Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize