walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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