NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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