My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
