any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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