I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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