You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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