Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Bring me that man meat
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
