You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
