omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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