there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
