By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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