those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
