dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
