i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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