guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
