so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I forget how to act sober
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