i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
