Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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