Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
