Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
So squirting runs in the family.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
