so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
