i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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