He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
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i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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