Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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