He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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