So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
