Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Holy sore nipples Batman
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
