butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
