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Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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