do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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