: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
