It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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