Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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