On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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