I cannot find my penis.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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