I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
