Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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