please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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