like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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