So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
