I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize