isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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