On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
