White coat. Heels.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
