Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
