God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
