dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
