my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
