Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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